The ability to communicate with others is a determining factor in achieving success in making the necessary connection between speaker and listener. It is a skill that anyone can learn regardless of the career or personal relationships desired.
Author John C. Maxwell, author of Everyone Communicates Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently, writes that anyone can learn the skill of connecting one-on-one, whether individually, in a group or with an audience.
He answers the questions:
- How does a speaker know when a connection is being made with a listener?
- How does a speaker know when a connections is being lost between speaker and listeners.?
Connecting Can Make or Break You
Maxwell believes that if an individual wants to succeed, understanding how to connect with others is vital. He writes that if a person can connect with others at every level--one on one, in groups, and with an audience, it creates relationships that are stronger and the speakers sense of community improves. The ability to create teamwork increases, influence increases, and productivity skyrockets.
Maxwell defines "connecting" as the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases influencing them. The ability to communicate and connect with others is a major determining factor in reaching an individual's potential. Being able to work with others is important in attaining success.
To be successful, individuals must have:
- Vision-- the ability to describe where they are going
- Consensus-- be able to persuade people to come along with them
- Charisma--connect on a personal level
- Trust--do what they say they will do
According to Maxwell, connecting is not just for leaders, for example politicians running for office or office holder. One example he uses is how salespeople who can connect with prospects will see them transition into customers and clients.
Connecting With People At All Levels
The author writes that if an individual wants to connect with others, it is necessary to think about who they are and what they want. He suggests:
- Knowing what they value by being a good listener
- Finding out why they value those things by asking questions
- Sharing values that are similar
- Building relationships on those common values
Barriers To Finding Common Ground
There are behaviors that lead to a lack of communication and connection.
Making assumption about other people can be a barrier to making connections. These can be based on such things as:
- Background
- Profession
- Race
- Gender
- Age
- Nationality
- Politics
- Faith
Other barriers are:
- Arrogant people who seldom meet people on common ground believing that the live on higher ground than others. They expect everyone else to make the effort to come to them.
- Indifference in not wanting to know what others know, feel or want.
- Controlling others by withholding vital information
In presenting the five principals and five practices in the book, Maxwell says that while it seems that some people are born with the ability to connect with others, the fact is anyone can learn how to make every communication opportunity a powerful connection.
About the Author
John C. Maxwell is an international speaker and author. He is the founder of EQUIP.
Maxwell, John C. Everyone Communicates Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2010.
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